...COOL OFF...

Cool off

Wag ka munang magalit

Ako sana'y pakinggan

Hindi ko balak ang ika'y saktan

Hindi ikaw ang problema,

wala akong iba

Di tulad nang iyong hinala

Sarili ay di maintindihan

Hindi ko malaman,

Ano ba ang dahilan

Nang pansamantalang paghingi ko ng kalayaan

Minamahal kita,

Pero kaylangan ko lang mag-isa

(Chorus)

Wag mong isipin na hindi kana mahal

Sarili ko`y hahanapin ko lang

At ang panahon at ang oras ng aking pagkawala

Ay para rin sa ating dalawa

Wag ka sanang lumuha

Sana`y intindihin

Ito ang dapat nating gawin

Upang magkakilala pa

At malaman kung tayo Ay para sa isa`t isa

Wag mong pigilin ang damdamin

Sa aking pagkawala,

Makahanap ka bigla ng iba

Ngunit pakakatandaan

Na mahal pa rin kita,

Pero kaylangan ko lang mag-isa

(Chorus)

Wag mong isipin na hindi kana mahal

Sarili ko`y hahanapin ko lang

At ang panahon at ang oras ng aking pagkawala

Ay para rin sa ating dalawa ahh yeah........

Sarili ay di maintindihan

Hindi ko malaman,

Ano ba ang dahilan

Nang pansamantalang paghingi ko ng kalayaan

Minamahal kita, Pero kilangan ko lang mag-isa

(Chorus)

Wag mong isipin na hindi kana mahal

Sarili ko`y hahanapin ko lang

At ang panahon at ang oras ng aking pagkawala

Ay para rin sa ating...

(Chorus)

Wag mong isipin na hindi kana mahal

Sarili ko`y hahanapin ko lang

At ang panahon at ang oras ng aking pagkawala

Ay para rin sa ating dalawa..

ahh yeah ahh wooooooooooooo..

How I wish that he will understands me, why I am doing this? I don't want to be unfair to him...

I'm really sorry but I need to do this... I'll try to take it easy and slowly...

SORRY. i love you.

MTV EXIT Concert in Phnom Penh

Once again, this is a very late post. This event happened last December 12, 2008 at Olympic Stadium.

I've got lots of tickets for this event, Joyce gave it to me, then I gave it to people who wants to go and who will enjoy the show. Since, CLICK FIVE Band was there, most of the audience are the young people, like ME! Most of them are Highschool and Foreigners like us. Of course, Cambodians were there too, Local singers perform also, the very famous singers, that's why its too crowded, we stand in front of the stage, as in next to the stage. I was with G21 folks, Joyce, Nina, Nico, Json, Nestle, and Franco. But I spent only a little time with them, because I was with AIC (Academy International Cambodia) students, all of them are High Schools, so imagine, I was with 20 students and I was the oldest, it seems that we went to a field trip. And most of them told their parents that they were with me, so before we left I checked everyone first. The concert was good, I saw how they enjoyed it, especially my siblings. LOL! After awhile, they'd complain because CLICK FIVE went out at around 11:00pm and we were waiting there since 5:00pm. I feel pity for them, they were so hungry and so tired, but at the end of the day, they enjoyed it... hehehe! LOL!

They told me that next time we should go there late night... hehehhe!!! LOL!

LOVE

"LOVE"

There is a risk involved in everything

Every time you share a smile

Every time you shed a tear

You are opening yourself up to hurt.

Some people tread slowly through life,

Avoiding the closeness risk brings,

Sidestepping the things they can not understand

Turning away from those who care too much-

Those who care stay too long,

Those who hold too tightly.

There is never an easy way to love

You cannot approach it cautiously

It will not wait for you to arm yourself.

It does not care if you turn away

It is everywhere, it is everything.

Love is the greatest of all risks.

It is not reliable, it is not cautious,

It is not sympathetic

It is unprejudiced and unmerciful.

It strikes the strongest of mind,

And brings them to their knees in one blow.

Even in the best of times, love hurts.

It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,

It hurts to be the other part of someone else,

Without either of your consent.

But, from the moment it overtakes you,

It hurts worse to be all alone.

The risk of love never depletes;

It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.

But, it is in the total surrender of all defense,

That we, no matter weak or strong,

No matter willing or captive,

No matter what, we truly experience love.

Despite the many things love is not,

Outweighing it all are the things that love is.

Love is surrender without a loss.

It is a gift without the cost.

It consumes your every thought and desire,

Every breath you take.It is the fire that fuels you

To do more than pass through life;

It urges you, instead, to live.

No matter the outcome, having felt love,

You will never be the same.

It may scar your heart and soul

And leave you only memories of forever.

Or, it may cause every day of your life

To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.

But, love is worth it.

It is worth the risk...

For in all of life,

Love is truly the only risk worth taking.

Catch me I'm falling for YOU!!!

I want to tell you how I feel but I really don't know how to construct a good sentence for me to explain this feelings I have for you. I know wanting you is so wrong, but since you gave me that sweet feelings before I left the boat, I can't stop thinking of you and I can't got over that feeling, everytime I closed my eyes it always flashback on my mind and to tell you honestly, it made me so weak.



This song is for you, it explains how I feel for you. I know it is wrong to fall for you but that's how I feel. I really want to see you and be with you always. I wish I have courage to say it to you. This feeling is too strong that makes me so weak even I'm only think of you.



I hope this is enough...

CATCH ME I'M FALLING
I don?t know why but when i look in your eyes
I
feel something that seems so right
You?ve got yours i?ve got
mine
I think i?m loosing my mind
Coz i shouldn?t feel this
way

Pre Chorus:
Catch me i?m falling for you
And i don?t know
what to do

Chorus:
How can something so wrong
Feel so right
all along
Catch me i?m falling for you
How can time be so wrong
For
love to come along
Catch me i?m falling you
How can love let it go
When
it has no place to go
And i can?t go along pretending
That love isn?t here
to stay
Catch me i?m falling for you

Verse 2:
If i could
just walk away
Without you floating today
I would die just thinking of
you
I know we can?t
therefore be more than friends you and me
But
why do i feel this way

2nd chorus:
How can something so
wrong
Feel so right all along
Catch me i?m falling for you
How can time
be so wrong
For love to come along
Catch me i?m falling you
Maybe
someday i?ll see
why love did this to me
Coz i can?t go along
pretending
That love isn?t here to stay
Catch me i?m falling for
you
Catch me i?m falling for you

Bridge:
And it?s wrong for
me to feel this way
Coz i don?t know what to do without you
I?m falling
for you
Catch me i?m falling for you
How can something so wrong?feel so
right all along
Catch me i'm fallin from you

xoxo,

roma

I don't care!!!

I really don't like the way she treat me. She's so mean. And I hate her for showing me that way. I'm trying to be nice to her but she's so mean to me!!!

A-Cause-tic Jam

This is a late post of an Event that was organized by Couples For Christ (CFC) here in Cambodia, they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. I must admit that its been awhile that I haven't seen them and I actually missed them. There are many times that they invited me to join their HouseHold and Fellowship, but I always decline, i don't know why...

Anyway, I actually don't have any idea of this, I've heard it from the owner of FILMART (Filipino Grocery), when I was at Bistro Lorenzo (Filipino Restaurant) one time, and then they sent us the solicitation letter here at the office, and some sisters are selling me the ticket, but I didn't said anything. LOL!

Lucky, that my brother has one ticket from his friend and he gave it to me, because he knew how much I like to go. So even I was alone I went there, knowing that there are some folks that I can meet in there.

At the party I saw some friends that I haven't seen for awhile, just have a little chit-chat and later lots of people came, some I know, some I don't. But I stick with my young sister friends, such as Dessa, Joyce and Anna. I stayed there until 10:00pm then went somewhere by myself. LOL! No, I was with Riza and went home at around 3:00am.

Before we go, I received something sweet and special from someone... Love it!!! Until now, I can't get over it. Hahahah!!!

Anyway, I really miss them...

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!!

Making Love Out of Nothing At All

I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where to find the answers
And I know just how to lie
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream
And I know just where to touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time's gonna fly
And I'm never gonna tell you
Everything I gotta tell you
But I know I gotta give it a try
And I know the roads to riches
And I know the ways to fame
I know all the rules
And I know how to break 'em
And I always know the name of the game
But I don't know how to leave you
And I'll never let you fall
And I don't know how you do it

Making love out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all

Everytime I see you all the rays of the sun
Are streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes
Like a spotlight
The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost
And it's looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright
I've gotta follow it 'cause everything I know
Well it's nothing till I give it to you
I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
I can make all the stadiums rock
I can make tonight forever
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn
I can make you every promise that has ever been made
I can make all your demons be gone
But I'm never gonna make it without you
Do you really want to see me crawl
And I'm never gonna make it like you do

Making love out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all Making love,
Out of nothing at all


---This is for you... whoever you are. :P

What hurts? --LOVE

Before I left my previous work, I had a little sentimental/dramatic effect. Then Nestle ask me how am I that time, then suddenly I told him that I'm okay, pretending to be, because I need to be. Then he told me that there's an entry in his blog about "pretending to be okay but inside you're dying"...

I want to share it with all of you also, the statements that hurts me and made me cry when I read this...

This is from Nestle Poell's blog entry.
1. Letting go of a person you’ve learned and decided to love.
2. Reminiscing the good and bad times you shared together.
3. Shielding your heart to love somebody.
4. Trying to hide what you really feel.
5. Trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes.
6. Loving a person too much.
7. Giving up someone you never thought of giving up.
8. Having the right love at the wrong time.
9. Taking the risk to fall in love again.
10. Hiding your relationship from someone else.
11. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend.
12. Thinking of him/her every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he/she never even thinks a single thought of you.
13. Letting go, because everytime you see the person, you only fall deeper.
14. Holding back only to find out when it’s too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn’t let the feelings out.
15. Falling in love with someone you didn’t mean to fall in love with.
16. Finding the perfect girl/man - with only one problem - he/she doesnt love you.
17. Helping the one you love “make ligaw” to your friend.
18. Seeing the one you love crying for someone else.
19. The waiting also hurts like hell.
20. Having to hear “… I’ve met someone”.
21. Agreeing to his/her wish to “just be friends”.
22. Asking him/her freedom back coz “he/she’d be happier with him/her”.
23. Asking you to “forget that everything happened” and be “normal” friends again.
24. Hearing that you’re treated as a brother/sister (ouch!).
25. Sharing his/her future plans for the guy/gal with you.
26. You stopped being friends coz his/her bf/gf asked him/her to.
27. Being denied in front of people.
28. Telling you lies where he/she’d been when actually, he/she was with a “new friend” or an “old flame”.
29. He/she told you he/she’d be leaving you to return to his/her ex (the one he/she left for you!).
30. Breaking someone’s heart.
31. Fighting for that one thing that would make you happy.
32. That is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee you his/her commitment unless he/she fix him/herself - then, you are left hanging for the moment - then he/she says, time will tell…ang labo lang niya…but you still decided to hope in him/her and trust him/her.
33. PRETENDING you’re OK when inside you’re dying.
34. PRETENDING to be strong and RECOGNIZING your weakness lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have.
35. Being with someone you can’t actually love.
36. Pretending you don’t love a person whom you actually love.
37. Being in love.
38. Letting go even if you really don’t want to, having no right to say you are hurting because it was your decision.
39. Seeing the person you love hurt because of you and not being able to help that person.
40. Having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be the same again when he doesn’t treat you with the same closeness as before.
41. Having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you built for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable.
42. Admitting that you love someone despite her imperfections.
43. Finding out that the more you try to hate him/her, the more you end up loving him/her, perhaps even more than before.
44. Realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.
45. The thought that this boy/girl, used to really love you and youloved him/her as well so you didn’t give enough and he/she gave up on you.
46. Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else.
47. Making a promise and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to be delivered, the commitment is no longer there.
48. The hardest thing about love - believing it exists.


hay... so sad...

As You Grow

When the broken hearts are mended and the many tears are dried, you learn.

When you're over the old boyfriends and girlfriends and you realize you can live without your first love, you learn.

You see that the world doesn't end just because you think it will and that sometimes growing up means letting go.

You learn what real love is, and you begin to see that one friend who really cares about you is better than hundred friends who don't.
You learn that you can be strong, take each day step-by-step and survive every sad moment.

So feel the pain and cry the tears, go out and experience life.

But when you're at the end of your rope, and you're ready to jump off that ledge, remember that heartache fades, pain subsides and though life seems at times too tough to handles, its also too precious gift to wast.

Keep living, never give up, and remember:

AS YOU GROW YOU LEARN.

...This is who I am...

As I lay awake at night,

I think about the day that just went by,

Wondering if I could have changed

anything to make it better.

I think about my future,

What I can do to reach my dresans,

How to achieve them,

If I have what it takes,

And if I'm on the right path in life.

I think about my past,

All the people I've met,

Who I liked and disliked,

My family and friends,

How I grew up,

And what I've accomplished.

I thnk about what's really important to me,

My morals and values.

I think of ow the world works,

And how I would change it if I could.

I think of what I've been through,

And how I feel.

At the end of the day

I think about who I am.

By: Eva Doty from No Body's Perfect

Visa Renewals in Cambodia put on hold

According to The Phnom Penh post newspaper yesterday November 24, 2008, Foreigners, like me, are worried about the overstay fines on visa renewals as the passport office is still close up to now.

After the deceased of the National Police Commissioner of Cambodia Mr. Hok Lundy whom expatriates relied on his signature in renewals of their visas, the passport office is still close and refused to process any outstanding visan in it's possession. The reason why they refused to process any visa since Hok Lundy died was the agency haven't received any orders from the top level of the government.

As for every expatriate are getting so worried about it because once your visa expired there is US$ 6.00 each day penalty.***

***The Phnom Penh Post Newspaper; November 24, 2008

...silent war...

Last night while I was waiting for my service here in the office, I was chatting with some friends and listening live radio fm from the Philippines on the internet and everytime the music change I also changed my status. Unexpectedly, my boyfriend IM me and asked me what does my status means and if I really love him? With that, I was so shocked because he read my status and I'm sure that he's hurt. Indeed he was, and mad at me... He suddenly log out and turned off his phone, so that I couldn't contact him. So while I was walking at the parking lot a thought popped to my mind, that I should go to him and apologise and explain for what happened, so I asked the driver to dropped me at Bistro Lorenzo (Filipino Restaurant). When I entered at the restaurant, they were all surprised that I was there, they even thought that I was a customer, but I wasn't. LOL! I saw him smiled when he saw me. His boss keep nagging and intruiging me about us. LOL! After awhile, we talked, explained and apologised in the car on my way home. He said that if I didn't showed up at the resto he will never answer my calls. Anyway, we're okay now since last night. he's just afraid of losing me, that's why.

This is my status last night :

"kung malaya lang ako, ikaw ang pipiliin ko...".

It means, "if I am free, I will choose to love you"

This is from the song entitiled "Kung Malaya Lang Ako" by Kris Lawrence.

Nang ikaw ay dumating
Nadama’y iba sa damdamin
Kilos mo’t mga paglalambing
Ang siyang lagi ay umaakit sa akin

[refrain]
Kahit dayain pa
Ang puso at isipa’y
Hanap ka
Bakit nga ba ganyan

[chorus]
Kung malaya lang ako
Kung malaya lang ako
Ipagsisigawan kong mahal kita
Kung malaya lang ako
Kung malaya lang ako
Ay ikaw ang tanging pipiliin ko
Sana ay mahal mo rin ako

Kung may isang pagkakataon
Na ikaw ay makapiling ko
Init ng aking pagmamahal
Ang siyang lagi ay ipadarama sa’yo
[repeat refrain]
[repeat chorus 2x]

It's so sad... :(

The story of the song is:

One guy get closer to someone and suddenly fell inlove with her but he has girlfriend, and he said that If he's only free or no commitment, he will shout to the world how much he loved her and choose to be with her instead. If there's one chance to be with her he will show and let her feel how much he loves her...

it's a very nice song. I can compare it to "oh, it sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along"

senti lang ng onti...

ciao

...certain things happen...

Yes, certain things happen in an unexpected time. LOL!

As we have always says, "expect the unexpected"

Here I am Again...

Well, it's been awhile that I haven't put a blog entry here, seems that I've been very busy for the past few months, weeks and even days... LOL!

So here I am again, trying to say something nice about what's happening to me or is there any updates about myself or anything around me. hehehe! LOL!
Hmm... How can I start? ah! Let's say that I'm still here at my current job, still surviving, it seems to be so fast it's already three months now! I almost pass the probation period. I really love this job, and the people around me, they are so nice to me especially my boss, he always motivate me and talk to me nicely, and he even help me to correct my mistakes. heheh! LOL!

My life here in Cambodia, is so simple. that's it! LOL!
Of course I lived with my family here in Phnom Penh, both my parents are working here for almost 10 years now. And all my siblings are here also, my oldest brother is currently working here and he's already married to a Cambodian girl, they are blessed with a very cute, talented and smart baby girl - MIA! She is our angel at home, and even our toy. heheh! LOL! She really likes to dance, sing or copied what we said and what we're doing. You cannot disturb her if she's watching tv especially watching Mr. Bean, she really loves that crazy show. Hehehe! And honestly, I've been missing this little girl, because they don't stay at our house for awhile because my sister in law is pregnant and she's not feeling well. Anyway, I am the second to the oldest, and I am the "ate", who's responsible for everything. hehehehe!! I don't want to say more about me. Hahaha! Robin is next to me, hmmm... he's a working student, he works in a Filipino restaurant here in Phnom Penh in the morning and then he study at night in Pannasastra University of Cambodia, where I was strudying. We don't count on him most of the time, sometimes he acts like he's always the boss and irresponsible though he's good at making "buko (coconut) pie" {our small business, for extra income! LOL!}. Then, Roniel, is one of Pinoy hearthrobs here... Many girls are going crazy about him. that sometimes makes him mayabang... and we don't want that, he's our cleaner sometimes... hehehe... The youngest is Romina May, she seems to be so pasaway always. She's always get scolded by everybody because she doesn't obey us, but she still my baby, I was the one who raised here since my parents are already here in Cambodia when she was growing up. So I watch them growing up but not my parents, they are away because they want to give us the best that they could give. Aside from my family, some of my relatives are here - my father's siblings, and my two cousins; Franco and Kerwin. Kuya Kerwin is currently working as shop manager in one fastfood here in Phnom Penh, he has Cambodian girlfriend... He's so funny, he used to work as a "clown". LOL! He is our first cousin on my mother side. While Kuya Leco is my first cousin on my father side, "Leco", is only his nickname, we call him with that name when we were young but people call him "Franco" that's his real name. He's my favourite cousin, because when we were young he always give nice things and the fact that we are both "beautiful". I helped him to come here in Cambodia, when I was at the Media and Publishing company, I told my boss that he want to apply then She called him and voila, he's here now! He's still working there for almost 8 months now. He really enjoys here, I think. He goes out a lot, we rarely see each other these days because we both busy. hehehe! But we always update each other. LOL!

If you want to know about my "lovelife" ? well, it's fine I enjoy what I have and I love my boyfriend right now, we've been together for almost 15 months now. There are ups and downs in our relationship, quarelled and we even broke up then come back with each other. Hmmm... I don't know what to say... or maybe I don't want to tell what does I really feel right now. I just don't want to make things complicated especially my relationship with my boyfriend. hehehe! LOL

For almost 4 years staying here in Cambodia, I already met a lot of people and some people I treasured them as my friends. Of course CFC Cambodia is always be in my heart. some friends left already and some are just here but we often see each other, and once again because we're busy. LOL! As times goes by I kept meeting a lot of people and became their friends I even treasured them as my second family, that's why everytime we have some party we always invite them because they do the same to my family. hehe! I must admit that I really miss them now, but currently they said that they are not in good terms with others. I told them that in time everything will be ok. My friends in the Philippines? They are still my friends, people who always motivates me. Even though we don't see each other we kept updating each other on what's happening to us, and they always ask me to go back there to spend time with them, of course chikahan to the max ang gusto nila.hahahha! LOL!!!

What else? Hmm... I think that's it for now. A quick summary of my life here in Cambodia... But you know what that's the 2008 happenings to me. hehehhe!!!

Next time again... ciao

XOXO,

RoMaLyN